Colony In Space: Doctor Who: Season 8
Colony In Space SYNOPSIS:
Time Lord Files have been stolen by the Master, one concerns the location and history of the doomsday weapon. The Time Lords decide to temporarily life the Doctor's exile and send him and Jo to the planet Uxarieus. There the travellers find a fledgling human colony besieged by reptiles.
Members of IMC mining corporation have created the reptile hoax with mining robots to scare off or even kill the colonists. They want the planet for it's vast mineral wealth and the colonists out of the way. Only a galactic adjudicator can resolve the case.
Jo and the Doctor visit the native alien city and meet the telepathic primitives - returning they find the adjudicator is actually the Master who rules in IMC's favour. He then forces the Doctor to take him to the primitive city explaining the primitives guard the ultimate weapon and he means to have it.
The Doctor finds radiation from the weapon has been poisoning the colonists crops. Though under a death sentence for returning to the city he must convince the guardians of the Master's intent while Ashe and his colonists prepare for a last battle against Captain Dent and IMC troops.
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Colony In Space DETAILS:
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Colony In Space CAST & CREW
Jon Pertwee (Third Doctor)
Katy Manning (Jo Grant)
Nicholas Courtney — Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart
Roger Delgado — The Master
Graham Leaman, Peter Forbes-Robertson, John Baker — Time Lords
John Ringham — Ashe
Helen Worth — Mary Ashe
David Webb — Leeson
Sheila Grant — Jane Leeson
John Tordoff — Alec Leeson
Nicholas Pennell — Winton
John Line — Martin
Mitzi Webster — Mrs Martin
Roy Skelton — Norton
Pat Gorman — Colonist
Morris Perry — Captain Dent
Bernard Kay — Caldwell
John Herrington — Holden
Tony Caunter — Morgan
Stanley McGeagh — Allen
Pat Gorman — Long
John Scott Martin — Robot
Pat Gorman — Primitive/Voice
Roy Heymann — Alien Priest
Norman Atkyns — The Guardian
Production Staff for Serial HHH:
Writer - Malcolm Hulke
Director - Michael E. Briant
Script editor - Terrance Dicks
Producer - Barry Letts
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Colony In Space REVIEWS
Here's one that should have been consigned to the boring bin, would swap Colony in Space for a colour version of Mind Of Evil that's for sure.
In fact in colour is the only thing going for it. Colony In Space starts well, showing the Time Lords being all pissed off on Gallifrey that the Master has nicked some of their files. Then gets even better when they actually manipulate the Tardis and the Doctor & Jo are off on his very first journey through time and space in two years! Then it just becomes boring. Boring South England gravel and mud pits, boring colonists, boring IMC guards with the orange sticky tape on their plastic helmets and boring aliens, wearing clearly plastic heads and unconvincing psychedelic tights for skin. And their leader is a withered and unconvincing puppet!
To top this off Colony in space is so boring not even the Master could be bothered turning up for the first three episodes. When he does he's trying to think of a way out of the story quickly. The IMC guards deserve a mention only because of their gay haircuts and the fact that they can get such a slow moving, badly designed robot to kill off colonists which shows you how stupid these colonists are. With all the capture, escape and pointless gun battles that went on made it hard to sleep through this story.
The only good bits I remember are we finally see the inside of the Master's Tardis and the Master's proposition to the Doctor to rule the Universe with him once they have control of the Doomsday Weapon. This is what's on the Target novelization Grob? Hmmmm it's a much better title than what they came up with on screen.
Apart from that - NAFF 3/10.
Okay Tim I'll write a proper one! here's the Colony in space in a few paragraphs:- The Time Lords want the Doctor to bugger off to the planet Urethra cos the Master has stolen the plans for the Doomsday Weapon. So after giving Jo a quick squeeze on the boobies, into the Tardis they go and its off to one of South England's finest quarries. I go either way when it comes to these bloody alien planets that are filmed on quarry scenes. In some stories (Genesis of the Daleks for example) they look really good. In other stories (like this one) they look crap. And they look even worse when a supposedly alien planet has tyre marks of heavy duty machinery tracked through them!
Anyway, its another feel of Jo's titties and we're out of the Tardis and straight into Earth colony HQ. God, the stereotypes on offer here! There's the slightly-in-over-his-head-but-still-determined-to-lead colonist leader, then there is his dancing-about-on-four-cylinders second in command, and - more importantly - his very rootable daughter. I'd do her right now. Straight after I finished with Zoe and Liz. And Peri. And that black actress from The Long Game. Now, somehow some colonists get killed by a robot last seen on Lost in Space. Everyone thinks its a badly constructed CSO scene featuring a lizard but the Doctor knows better. A quick boobies squeeze with Jo again and he's deducted it could be something else. A robot no less. And most likely from Lost in Space.
Meanwhile the miners land on the planet to dust everyone up a bit and tell everyone to fuck off and go colonize somewhere else in the same way Australia got started. Nobody leaves and everyone gets hot under the collar. Someone suggests that they should get an adjudicator to sort it out so the colonist leader calls the Victorian Drama League and the adjudicator arrives. Yes; its that highly untalented and brainless dickhead Jill Watson! Unfortunately we aren't allowed to mention that she used to be a bit on an alcoholic so we better say that it is in fact the BLOODY MASTER once a-fucking-gain and everyone lets out a yawn like they didn't see THAT coming and its once more a quick boobies-squeeze and the Doctor and Jill Wa- sorry; THE MASTER head on down through the caves.
To cut a long story short (and I wish the script editing department had) we encounter some daft looking aliens wearing the latest in green (or "gween" if you're Terrance Dicks) body suits (so as not to show the tackle department). And we see some other aliens that look like chipmunks and then the final alien and - lo and behold! - its Flip Brudnell on the planet Urethra!!!! In the end, the Master's plan backfires (I didn't see THAT coming) and he has to team up with the Doctor (wow, there's character development) to get himself out of trouble (wow, that's writing). Then the Master escapes (gee I hope we see him real soon) and the Doctor gives Jo's boob one more squeeze and its back to UNIT HQ for tea and whatever booze is left over that Jill Watson didn't chuck down her gullet. Sorry; I'm not allowed to mention that. But lets rewind the review a little bit and see what it would be like if the Adjudicator had turned out to be someone else...
...Someone suggests that they should get an adjudicator to sort it out so the colonist leader calls the Victorian Drama League and the adjudicator arrives. Yes; its that bald-headed arrogant wanker Richard Keown!! Sporting the latest in seventies attire, a haircut fresh out of Monk School and breath that hasn't seen mouthwash in twenty years, Richard strides into the scene with a copy of Boy Gets Girl saying that only HE is allowed to direct it and he has written proof from the play's author. Neither the colonists or the Doctor believe this piece of shite and a phone call to the play's author confirms that Richard IS a lying prat and so he departs the planet with his head up his arse. Okay, I've said my piece now. Cool review hey? But I'm still giving Colony In Space 1/10. Its a Pertwee 6 parter - they are ALWAYS dull. Well, most of them. I wonder what's next? Oh crap. Its the highly overrated Daemons!!!!
TWO PIECES OF TRIVIA ABOUT COLONOSCOPY IN SPACE:1. Colonel Dent (the head of IMC) was originally to be played by a woman. Her costume consisted of those kinky PVC thigh high boots that I wanted Liz to wear in Speaking In Tongues. 2. The novelization of Colony In Space (called "The Doomsday Weapon") is much much better and is one of the best Dr Who books that Target put out.
But then they start talking about crops not growing.
And then the Doctor gets attacked by that weird robot with a claw thing.
And then the dozing starts.
Bits of Colony in space still work I guess - I mean it was more obvious than um... something that's really obvious that the adjudicator was going to be the Master, but the story does pick up a little bit there, and the cliff hanger where the Doctor and Jo collapse in the Master's TARDIS is pretty good... but the planet being ruled by sock puppet straight out of Punch and Judy was just laughable... and by that stage the thing had become so long and convoluted that, sorry, but nobody's going to buy that.
The Doomsday Weapon story itself isn't that bad... they could have made an interesting 2 or 3 parter just with that and it could have been good - but in the end we got a lot of padded out dullness... pity...